It is OK to HATE the Holidays.

This is a rambling rant/confession style thing.

This is all about me, and maybe for other people who feel pieces of this. If you are an ardent lover of the holidays, or super religious human, this isn’t for you. Do not stop, do not tell me your feels, I don’t care, move along. 

I want to talk about something.

I love Winter.

I love the cold, the smell of the air, the food, the drinks, the quiet. I like the stories.

I love celebrating coming together in this time, to access what we have done and how we want next year to be. To marvel and mourn (#Fuck2016) what the past year brought.

I love presents and cards, especially weird or handmade. I like getting things for people who love that and exchanging a fun email with people who don’t want gifts. (I only buy books for kids. This may or may not be a way to assuage my Powells problem.)

I love making, selling, and wrapping gifts for people. I don’t celebrate St. Valentine’s day either, but I do like making a living facilitating joy and love.

I love ornaments and decorations and even some small lights and candles. Small. I love watching people fly their geek, freak, and nerd flags high! I love seeing the creativity of constant new versions of decorating and celebrating! I love all the different advent calendar type things, but could care less about advent.

I don’t understand or like indoor trees in places with central heating and no fireplace. Or in places with no freaking evergreens. Unless they are potted to be planted in the new year. Cause that is classy. (Remember to water your plant though)

I love chocolate mint anything. I’m not saying I would like a chocolate mint flavored used tire, but I would try it.

I love celebrating the solstice, not because woo, but because it makes me smile that the world can still be beautiful and constant in its celestial wanderings despite all that we do to this planet. OK and maybe a little woo.

BUT…

I HATE the holidays.

I do. Truly.

I hate Christmas the most, followed quickly by Channukah and Yule (I got no bones with Kwanzaa because it has never made me suffer in any capacity during my retail hell). All of it can die in a fire.

I loathe religion. It screws up people and gives them weird mental permissions to share the screwy vibe from way too much love and light to harmful hate-mongering attacks.The holidays are rife with it, regardless or whether or not you are a practicing or professional worshipper.

Meanwhile I have to suffer every tacky over the top visual and audial assault from so called peaceful religions that have also been doing their damnedest all year to fuck with me and mine in daily life to country wide legislation because their all powerful invisible friend apparently is a passive aggressive hateful needy bastard who wants only certain (see white and rich) people to have rights and live without fear. Peace on earth, but profits before people. My government is taken over by Christian terrorists right now and I am less than pleased. 

I hate extravagant light displays. For every Peacock Lane house I see I wonder how much of that electricity bill could have been donated to help feed people with no homes.

I loathe almost all holiday music so much I want to modify a nerf gun to kill elves and creepy house breaking Coco Cola advertisements with napalm dreidels.

I want to cast large and spiky branches of evergreen needles and turn it out like caltrops on the lawn to discourage anyone who wants to sing to me in groups.

I want mistletoe that has been genetically bred to explode into fire ants that rain down upon assholes who non-consensually get up in people’s faces for a kiss they “deserve because tradition”. Who came up with that? Does anyone actually think there was a mad kissing game amongst the Druids? (Although now I kind of wish there was. Would explain the walking around with sickles. I too would cut a bitch).

I want to have the power to transform all mall type retail establishments into Tales From the Crypt style carnivals with rides that devour you and predatory games that call to you to play perpetually, and never win. The only people who escape are the poor employees to their new lives in whatever Elysian dream they want.

Why are you telling us this?

I’m glad you asked.

First I want you to know that YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HATE THE HOLIDAYS. It is allowed.

Second that you are allowed to like aspects of something and not like the thing itself. It’s complicated and so are we.

It doesn’t have to be because of trauma, or fucked up family, or weird ass nationalism, or because they are contradictory financial obligation machines designed to train you to show love through capitalism. You don’t need a reason. Or you can have all the reasons. But it is not mandatory that you partake in the unquestioning social contract of the holidays.

Not just because you might have been born into something you want no part of (looking right at you Judaism). 

Holidays are weird. Traditions are bizarre. Mandatory fun days are stressful.

I recommend doing what I do:

Make up a set of weird that you like and celebrate with that. Change the ones you don’t like. Be a walking contradiction. Its ok, crazy is festive. Feel free to include things from fantasy an science fiction. Because Joie sounds delicious.

Don’t celebrate it with people you don’t want to see. Even if you love them.

If you love the holidays do that. If life does not exist without Elf or The Island of Misfit Toys, do that. If you have to eat a corresponding amount of jelly donuts for each night of Channukah, or do a live reading of Hershel and the Hannukah Goblins, do that. If you want to run a race in sub zero dressed as Santa, go get it! If you think Die Hard is a necessary part of Christmas, call me. I’ll come over. 

Even if you are a cranky holiday sub human like myself, remember that it is ok to hate the system while gambling for those chocolate gelt coins like a boss and sing rocking around the Christmas tree while eating a yule log cake. Hate the Holidays, enjoy the time with your people, and enjoy your time with yourself.

It has been a hell of a year.

I don’t want to pretend anymore that any of this means anything to me aside from my people meaning everything to me.

Love to you all,

Have a warm and safe Winter!

Comments

  • Would it be OK with you if I link this from another site? I really like this piece of writing. I’ll defo credit it from my page.

    Anya KleinovaDecember 8, 2016
    • Absolutely! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      coralmallowDecember 8, 2016

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